Fall Down and Up
by Monsterchild
Summary: After being together for a while, Tommy decides to break it off with Jude. Someone decides to help her through. JudeKwest. Sry, I suck at summaries.
1. Chapter 1

Fall Down and Up.

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star.

Chapter 1: So far so good…

I never understood how Tommy's mind worked. It was always a mystery to me and I don't think I will ever figure it out.

I sat on the edge of the chair in the booth with my head in my hands. He leaned against the counter and let his head drop heavily so he was looking down. He looked up at me and stood up straight. "Jude, you have to know that I'm sorry."

I gave a small, sarcastic laugh. "And I have to know that I'm so stupid for even believing that you could want to be with me."

"That's not it, I want to be with you, but I just can't."

"It's been okay that we're together. My family knows, the studio knows, it's all been fine. You can be with me, you just don't want to."

"It's not that…"

"Right… Stupid me..."

"You're not stupid."

"Tom, why are you even hanging around here? You broke up with me, just go."

"I work here."

"You have other clients."

"Not here…"

"Stupid me…"

"Will you stop saying that?"

"It's true…" I sniffled.

"It's not you, it's me."

I gave a snort. "Oh what's next? You hope we can still be friends? That's pathetic."

"It's true!"

"Why?"

"Because I met someone else!"

I stood up and stepped backwards towards the door. "What'd you do? Find my replacement before you broke up with me?"

"It wasn't like that. It just happened."

"Who is it?"

He gave a half-smile, trying to lighten the impact. "Eden…"

"Oh wow!"

"I mean, she's a lot closer to my age."

"What am I supposed to do? Go hook up with Shay?"

"No, things just changed."

"Right…"

"Jude, please don't be mad."

"Don't be mad? Oh my god, Tommy! You must be freaking high to think I wouldn't be mad!"

"I thought you'd be upset, not mad."

"You thought wrong! You got together with a woman that I got dumped for once before! And you don't want me to be mad? Get real." I grabbed my bag from the floor and bolted from the room.

Kwest caught me in the lobby. "Jude, what's going on?" He looked down at me.

"I can't talk about it right now," I said as I dodged him and ran out of G Major. I jumped onto a stopped bus and watched as Tommy and Kwest both came out of G Major. The bus started with a jolt and I took my seat, just waiting to get where I needed.

AN: I know; short first chapter but I'm saving it all for my next chapters. Anyways R&R!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own the show even though I wish I did.

Chapter 2: Help Me!

I didn't know where I was going. I had ended up at the transit center but I just hopped on the nearest bus that was leaving within the next five minutes.

After two hours of bus hopping, I finally caught a bus back home. I stopped at Jamie's house, hoping that I could talk to him. I threw rock after rock until I threw one so hard that I nearly broke the window. He was probably out with Kat; they were always together anymore.

I walked the rest of the way to my house to find Kwest sitting on the front step. "Hi, Jude," he said naturally.

"Hi," I sighed.

"C'mon, sit down." He patted the part of the step next to him.

I dragged myself over to the step and sat down. I rested my head on my knees.

"So what happened?" He asked me.

I glanced up at him and my eyes filled with tears. "Oh right, like you don't know! I'm sure Tommy told you all about it!"

"No…" He replied calmly. "Tom's been really weird lately. He never tells me anything anymore."

"So you didn't know about it?"

"Know about what?"

"About Tom screwing Eden! He just decided that he wanted to leave me for her too! God what is it with her? Is she really that much better than me?"

"No, she's not."

"Then can you explain to me why Tommy and Shay suddenly decided that she was the best girl in the world?"

"I couldn't think of a reason."

"I mean, sure she's closer to Tommy's age but Shay?"

"Shay was a jackass. And lately, so is Tommy. You should just let things calm down before jumping into another nightmare."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, it wasn't too long after Shay dumped you that you started dating Jamie. Then after you broke up with Jamie, you started dating Tommy like a week later. I'm just saying, maybe taking a step back from guys and focusing on your music is the best for now."

"I guess, I don't know though."

He put his hand on my knee and said, "Just trust me."

"It's hard to trust anyone right now."

"Have I ever lied to you?"

"No, but what's to say that you won't?"

"Hey, you can definitely trust me. Don't worry about the rest of the world, worry about yourself."

"You're the only person I've ever met who says that. Everyone always wants me to pay attention to them and stop being so selfish."

"You're not selfish. Just ignore those people."

"Look Kwest I really should get inside."

"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow at the studio."

"Maybe, I need space from Tom for a while."

"That's probably a good idea. But just to let you know, if you don't show, he'll probably come looking for you."

"I can handle him."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Okay, we'll I guess I'll talk to you some other time."

"Yeah."

Kwest and I stood up. He gave me a hug. "See you later, Jude." He started walking off and turned back to face me.

I waved as he turned and walked away.

AN: I know short chapter but working up things for later chapters. I'm trying to push it for a late chapter that way it doesn't move too fast. Anyways, R&R!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star.

Chapter 3: Come and get me.

"Jude!" I heard my mom yell to me. "You're going to be late!"

I sighed. "I'm not feeling well! I'm not going today!"

"Okay!" She called back. "Well, I have to go! Love you!"

"Bye!" I continued playing my guitar.

I feel chained, chained down  
You shoved me to the ground  
I can't run, I can't shout  
Just let me out

So heartless, this couldn't mean less  
Gonna push it in your face   
I'm only human  
And I've got something to say

Chorus   
Let me rise, let me fall  
Let me breathe  
I wanna lose control, I'm not afraid to lose it all  
Let me break, let me crawl   
Cause I'll get back up again if you let me fall

I was shaken from my world as the phone rang. "Damn…" I picked it up. "Hello?"

"Where the hell are you?" A voice yelled from the other side of the line.

"Who is this?" I asked plucking the strings of my guitar.

"Who do you think this is? It's your producer! I want you down here, now!"

"Tom, I'm not feeling well, I don't want to come down today."

"Don't make me go up there and drag you back here myself!"

"I'm not feeling well! Am I not able to take a sick day every once in a while?"

"We both know that this isn't an actual sick day. I know this is about what happened yesterday."

"You mean my two hours of bus hopping?"

"Jude…"

"Fine, so what if it is? I need a break from you, Tom. Just give me that."

I heard Kwest in the background say, "Man, just give her a day."

"Shut up, Kwest. Jude, I want you here ASAP!"

"Bye, Tom!"

"Don't han-"

I hung up the phone and went back to playing.

If I burn down in this fire  
Well, I got myself to blame  
I can't stop or give it up  
I need to feel the pain 

Can you hear me?  
Don't come near me  
You'll just get in my way  
I'm only human  
And there's nothing you can say 

Chorus  
Let me rise, let me fall  
Let me breathe  
I wanna lose control, I'm not afraid to lose it all  
Let me break, let me crawl  
Cause I will get up again if you let me fall

The phone rang again. I didn't bother to answer it this time, it was just Tommy. I don't see why it even mattered that I didn't want to go for one day. For all he knows I could have other plans. But then again he knew how busy Jamie had been since he and Kat got back together.

Say you know who I am  
And what I'm about  
Then you'll understand that I feel alone  
I live my own life

Chorus   
Let me rise, let me fall  
Let me breathe  
I wanna lose control, I'm not afraid to lose it all  
Let me break, let me crawl   
Cause I will get up again if you let me fall

Yeah, yeah, yeah  
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah  
If you let me fall  
If you let me  
If you let me fall  
If you let me fall

I will get up again if you let me fall  
Yeah, yeah, yeah  
Yeah, yeah  
If you let me fall  
If you let me fall  
Let me fall

The phone rang again. I ignored it. It just kept ringing and ringing until I couldn't take it anymore.

I grabbed the phone from the receiver and shouted, "Stop calling, Tommy!"

"Jude! It's me!" I heard Kwest yell.

"Kwest? What's up?"

"Tommy's coming to get you! You really pissed him off! I tried calling earlier but you weren't answering. He left a while ago. You need to get the hell out of there!"

"Thanks for the tip, Kwest!" I slammed the phone down on the receiver, slipped on a pair of old converses, without tying them, and running down the stairs. I flung the front door open and saw his Viper pulling into the driveway. "Shit!" I yelled as I slammed the door and locked it.

"Jude!" Tommy shouted through the door as he hammered on it. "Open up right now!"

I ran out the kitchen door and made a run for it. But what I didn't know is that Tommy knew about the back door.

AN: Damn that Tommy! Please R&R!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Do I really have to put this every time?

Chapter 4: Let me fall.

I ran out the back door and made my way around the side of the house. I was ready to run for my life. I didn't want to deal with Tommy and I wanted to avoid it, if possible.

Unfortunately, I didn't even have the chance to sneak around the side of the house. Tommy came around and saw me. "Jude, you're coming with me," he said as he came toward me.

"You're going to have to drag me back there!" I yelled at him as I ran the opposite direction.

"Oh come on, Jude! You're being childish!" He shouted as he ran after me.

"What do you care, Tommy? You broke up with me! You don't have to deal with my childishness anymore!"

"Please don't act like this!"

"Tom, I deserve a day off and today seems like a good day to take one!"

"But we need you at the studio."

"And this is going to get me there? I don't get you!"

"Just please stop!"

I didn't want to stop; I didn't want to talk to anyone, especially him. But I had to stop, against my will. I tripped over the curb outside of my house and came crashing to the ground. "Damn it!"

"Are you okay?"

I looked up to see Kwest had just pulled up to my house and he was getting out of his car.

"I'm just a little scratched."

"What are you doing here, Kwest?" Tommy asked him.

Kwest narrowed his eyes. "Just seeing how Jude's doing. I know how you've been acting lately."

"Jude's fine and how I've been acting has nothing to do with you."

"I know it doesn't have anything to do with me, you're just being a real jerk. Especially to Jude."

Tommy looked down to me. "C'mon, Jude, we're going to the studio." He grabbed my arm and pulled me off the ground.

"Let go!" I yelled at him.

"You're coming with me!" He pulled me to his car and pushed me in.

"Help me!" I mouthed to Kwest.

"Hey, Tom, what is your damage?" Kwest asked, stomping over to him.

Tommy turned to face Kwest. "She needs to get to work, as do you."

I opened the door and snuck out of the car while they were talking.

"Now, if you excuse me, Jude and I have to get to the studio." He turned back to face me, but I was already running from the car like the wind. I glanced back to see him shout something at Kwest and sort of jump up to get himself running.

My footsteps fell in with the rhythm of my breath. All I could hear was my footsteps on the pavement. My tears fell as I ran, mixing in with the sweat trickling down my face. I wish I was paying more attention to my surroundings.

I was brought back to the world around me with the blare of a car horn. My steps stopped immediately but the car didn't.

_Let me rise, let me fall  
Let me breathe  
I wanna lose control, I'm not afraid to lose it all  
Let me break, let me crawl  
Cause I will get up again if you let me fall_

"Jude!" The two guys shouted.

"Cause I will get up again if you let me fall…" I murmured.

AN: Don't worry, I'm not going to kill her… without her there is no IS. I know over-dramatic but welcome to my world. Anyways, R&R!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: If I owned Instant Star, I'd so spoil the new season.

Chapter 5: Hit me hard

I'm not sure what happened during those few hours but I was in some place that I didn't recognize when I woke up. "Where am I?" I breathed. It was hard to breathe. I felt like there was no air left in my body.

"The hospital," someone said.

"Who's there?"

"Just me," the person replied bluntly.

"Who's me?" I opened my eyes.

Kwest walked over to me and grabbed my hand, which had been resting on my stomach. "Me."

I gave a weak smile. "It's so hard to breathe…"

"I imagine. You were hit by a car, Jude."

I let those words ring through my head. "I was hit by a car… I was hit by a car!" The thought hit me as hard as the car had a few hours earlier.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and brushed some hair out of my face. "It's over now, Jude."

"Where's anyone?"

"Your mom can't get out of work and I didn't figure you wanted your dad here."

"Good call."

"We've called Sadie but she hasn't answered."

"Anyone else?"

"Jude!" Kat cried, entering the room with Jamie.

"Them," Kwest finished.

"I can't believe it!" Jamie said, coming over to the bed. His face seemed a little red, like he had been crying. "I'm sorry that I haven't been around lately."

"Jamie, it's okay."

"No, it's not okay, you could've been seriously hurt. I could've never seen you again."

"I'm okay."

"What did they say is wrong?"

"Um…" I looked over to Kwest. "What is wrong?"

"You've been x-rayed and you have a broken wrist but they think it's mostly bumps and bruises." It wasn't Kwest who explained it. Tommy was standing in the doorway.

"Hi, Tom," I mumbled. I felt a horrible pain in my stomach, I felt horrible all over. My breath seemed to leave my body even more so than it had done before. I started taking deep breaths, trying to keep air in my lungs.

"You okay?" Kwest asked.

"Yeah, loss of air." I closed my eyes and took breaths.

"This is horrible," I heard Tommy say.

"She wouldn't even be here if you just let her have a day off," Kwest replied.

"Don't you dare pin this on me, it's not like I was driving the car!"

"You might as well have been!"

"I was just trying to get her to the studio but you had to let her go!"

"She needed the day off, Tom! You broke her heart!"

"And you just had to be the great understanding Kwest, didn't you?"

"It's not like this is my fault!"

"It's not mine either!"

"Neither of yours!" I shouted at them opening my eyes.

"What?" They asked.

I sat up on the edge of the bed and stood. "Neither one of you two ran in front of the fucking car!" I walked up to them slowly. "I'm the moron who got hit, I'm the one to blame… Don't hate each other." I pushed Tommy. "Blame me."

"Jude, but…" Kwest started.

"But nothing!" I yelled. "I got hit by the car! I ran in front of it! You guys didn't do anything!"

"It wasn't your fault," Tommy added.

"Exactly my point to you two… So the both of you!" I could the air leaving my lungs again. "Shut u-" My legs collapsed from beneath me and I passed out.

I was in the bed again when I woke up. "Overexertion at it's finest…" I said, opening my eyes.

"Not anything to joke about Jude," Kwest replied. He was sitting on the edge of my bed, gripping one of my hands. The left side of his face was swollen and turning blue.

I got a good look at him and sat up. "Kwest, your face…" I placed my hand on his cheek.

He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, like he was trying to block it out. "I got into a fist fight with Tommy."

"Oh, Kwest… What happened?"

He hesitated. "Something he said…"

"What?"

"Direct quote: 'That's her for you, always the dramatics.' I wanted to kill him. Jamie got caught in the cross-fire, just a fat lip though."

"What did I ever see in Tommy?"

"Someone who understood you. Someone you thought was nice. Your prince charming."

"My prince jackass."

Kwest laughed and grabbed my hand that was still resting on his cheek. "Total jackass." He kissed my cheek softly. He was about to kiss my lips when someone entered.

"Hi, Jude," he said.

"Dad?" I mumbled.

AN: What will happen? Only I know! Anyways, review!


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Between my four IS fanfics, I've run out of stupid things to put under the disclaimer. Therefore, I am forced to put the usual boring "I don't own Instant Star." I also don't own the song "Family Portrait" by Pink or any other references I make.

Chapter 6: Family Portrait

"Hi, Honey!" He said drifting over to me and locking me in a hug.

"Dad? What are you doing here?" I asked.

He sat down on the side of the bed that Kwest wasn't sitting on. "I came to see you. For God's sakes, Jude, you were hit by a car! I know that you don't want me at our shows but I'm going to be here now."

"I, uh, think I'm going to get something to eat," Kwest mentioned as he got up. "You want anything?"

"A bottle of Pepsi Lime and Hershey Bar would be nice," I replied.

"Comin' right up."

"Thanks, Kwest."

My dad looked at the spot where Kwest had been standing and then looked back at me. "Aren't you happy to see me?"

"Well, Dad, I'm just a tad confused to how you knew I was here. We didn't call you and I doubt that Mom called. So how'd you know?"

"Sadie called me."

"Sadie…" Why would she do that? Was she trying to fix things between Dad and me? What the hell was going through her head?

"She thought that I should know my daughter was hit by a car. She knew that you wouldn't have called me, so she did the right thing."

"Oh, I'm sorry that between getting hit by a car, being unconscious for a few hours, having Jamie and Kat visit me, stopping a fight between Tom and Kwest, and passing out again that I didn't find time to call you."

"But you were able to call Kwest, Tommy, Kat, Jamie, your mother, and Sadie?"

"Tommy and Kwest were there when I was hit by the car and then they called everyone else. And you know what? I don't blame them for not calling you. They know about what happened and they know how I feel about it. They just don't want to make me feel worse than I already do."

"But I'm your father and I deserve to know."

"You don't deserve much."

"Jude that's not fair."

"Oh but it is."

"I screwed up, I'm not perfect. I've already paid enough, it's been a while, forgive me already."

"For what?"

My dad and I both looked over to the doorway and saw my mom standing there.

"For what?" She repeated.

"For screwing up our family," I offered.

"That wasn't my fault!"

"Really? 'Cause I could've sworn it was you that was sleeping with Yvette, my mistake."

"What's going on?"

I looked back over at the door to see Sadie standing there.

"If it's not the traitor," I quipped.

"What?" She snapped.

"You called Dad! How could you? You know of everything that's happened! What in your right mind made you believe that I'd actually want him here?"

"Well, excuse me for thinking that you may want our whole family here!"

"Oh, c'mon! How stupid are you? You knew that I wouldn't want Dad here!"

"Jude, just shut up! I'm not even here for you!"

"What in the bloody hell are you talking about?"

"Tommy called me. He wanted me here to support him, since you and Kwest were ganging up on him!"

"Tommy was bad mouthing me! Kwest was just coming to my rescue! But you for some strange reason think that I don't need rescuing!"

"You don't! You have your perfect little life in your perfect little world!"

"You think my life is perfect? TAKE A LOOK AROUND! Where am I, huh? I'm in a fucking hospital! But yeah, you're right, my life is perfect. I got dumped by my boyfriend and then hit by a car. Some perfect life."

An evil smirk appeared on her face. "Speaking of which, how's Eden?"

"Oh you just had to go there, didn't you? Kick me when I'm down. That's what you're good at, isn't it? Making others feel small so you can feel big, that's just sad."

"You bitch…"

"Girls," my mom cautioned.

"Listen to your mother," my dad added.

"I can handle this, Stuart!"

The room filled with screams and yelling. My perfect family.

I was so sick of all of this. I stood and made a motion towards the door. None of my family noticed.

Tommy came into the room. "Jude, sit down!" He commanded.

My family became silent, wanting to hear the conversation.

"Shut up, Tom."

He walked over to me. "You need to sit down before you pass out again."

"I'm fine, Tommy. I just wish I could get out of this room."

"You're not going anywhere."

"I said I wish I could. I'm attached to an IV, I'm not able to go anywhere."

"Sit down and shut up." He put enough pressure on my shoulders to get me to sit down.

I looked up at him with a tough glare. "I'm fine, Tom! The doctors said that I only passed out because I had the wind knocked out from the car. I was still trying to recover, now drop it."

"Jude, you don't get it."

"No, you don't get it. I'm fine, I feel fine and you acting as if I'm going to drop dead any second isn't going to help anyone."

"I know you're not going drop dead."

"Then stop acting like it."

"I'm just trying to take care of you."

"I kind of think that opportunity flew out the window when you dumped her," Kwest said standing in the doorway with my food in hand.

"Not that again, it's over and done with," Tommy whined.

"You need to stop acting like she's hurt physically and start realizing that she's hurt mentally."

Tom looked down at me and I looked away. "I didn't think about it."

And then, for some unexplainable reason, the yelling started again. If I couldn't leave them, they could leave me. "OUT!" I screamed at all of them. "EVERYONE OUT!"

"But Jude…" My mom started.

"Out!" I demanded, pointing to the door.

They began filing out, one by one, Kwest the last in line.

"Kwest," I squeaked as I pulled the covers around me and positioned the bed so I could sit up. "Please stay."

He turned back around and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Here." He handed me a Hershey bar and a bottle of Pepsi Lime before opening a bottle for him.

"Thanks, Kwest." I hesitated. Why had I asked him to stay? What was I thinking?

He looked over to me. "I thought you wanted everyone out."

"There are some VIPs in my world." I smiled at him. I guess I was thinking about where we left off earlier.

He took a drink from his Pepsi Lime. He seemed a little nervous. "And I'm one?"

"The only one." What was I saying? Where was this coming from? I didn't know what I was saying; it was just spilling out of my mouth.

"No others?"

"Well, now that I think about it…"

He let out a laugh. "You're everything, Girl." He placed a hand on my cheek just like I had earlier.

I avoided eye contact. "You called me girl."

"I-"

"Only Tommy's called me that."

"I'm sorry."

I looked directly into his eyes. "Don't be."

His hand snaked around from my cheek to the back of my neck as our lips pressed together.

AN: Finally! Anyways, R&R!


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own it or anything else for that matter.

Chapter 7: Green monster

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt," Tommy said, entering the room.

"I thought I told you not to come in here," I snapped at him.

"Why not? So you can make-out with your boyfriend?"

"Stop! You were trying to tell me what's best for me when you don't even know! And Kwest's not my boyfriend!"

Kwest glanced over to me with a hurt look. He stood silently and headed towards the door.

"No, Kwest, stop, please! That didn't come out like I wanted it to."

"But you got your point across," he replied without looking back at me. He walked out of the room.

"Kwest, wait!" I called getting up from the bed. I ran towards the door but the IV in my hand tugged at my skin and I yelped in pain. I walked back over to Tommy and started hitting on him. "You idiot! How could you? You just don't want me to be happy!" She had tears streaming down her face. "That's not fair!"

He grabbed my hands. "Jude! Stop it! You said that to Kwest, it's your fault!"

"But you provoked me! I just want to be with Kwest!"

"Jude, I don't want you back at the studio until we know why you passed out."

"I told you that it's nothing! I'm just out of breath, light-headed! Being hit by a car can do that!"

"Listen, you're not stepping foot in G Major until you are checked out by a doctor."

"Tommy! Don't you listen? I'm fin-" And I once again passed out.

"Jude, wake up…" A voice said. "Jude…"

My eyes fluttered open to see Tommy hovering above me. "Tom, what do you want?"

"Just light-headed, huh?"

"Drop it. I'm fine."

"I want the doctors to take a look at you, something isn't right."

"Tom, don't you listen? I'm fine."

"You're not fine."

"Okay, if it will get you off my back, I'll have it checked out. But I swear it's just a small side-effect of the impact."

"Thank you, I'll check on you tomorrow," he said. He kissed me on the forehead and left the room.

I hit the nurse button and a nurse entered the room. "Yes?"

"Um, there's something that I'm worried about…"

The next day Tommy stopped by like he said he would. "So, what's the verdict?"

"I told you it was nothing."

"They couldn't find anything?"

"Well…"

"They did find something, didn't they?"

"It's nothing, really."

"Jude."

"The doctor said that my lung capacity is a little smaller than it was before, I just need to get used to it. I've been overexerting myself. I'll get used to it."

"If you say so."

"I say so."

"Okay."

"Have you talked to Kwest?"

"No."

"I've been leaving him messages but he's not calling back." I started crying. "I just want him here."

He sat down on the side of my bed. "Jude, don't cry." He hugged me. "Please don't cry."

"I miss him, I want him here with me."

"Don't worry about him…"

I clutched onto his back. "I'm scared, Tommy. I'm so scared. What if I don't get better? What if I just keep fainting? I'm so scared!"

"Shh, it's all right, it will be okay." He began rocking back and forth slowly. "It'll be okay."

"I want Kwest here. I want him to hold me and tell me everything's all right. I miss him!"

"Shh…"

"Miss Drama Queen," someone said from the doorway.

Tommy and I looked up to see Eden standing there.

"Eden, what are you doing here?" Tommy asked.

"Coming to add insult to injury?" I added.

"Just checking on Tom, I already know all about you, Jude," she replied. She tossed a tabloid at me.

I picked it up and read aloud, "'Hit out of the park. After an argument with former Boyz Attack member, Tommy Quincy, the first Instant Star winner, Jude Harrison, ran out of her home. Not paying attention to her surroundings, Harrison was soon hit by a car. Quincy and another G major employee, Kwest, registered her into the St. Margaret's Hospital. She has been reported with a broken wrist but nothing else has been discovered.' Oh my god! I can't believe this! How did they know?"

"Welcome to fame, sweetheart," Eden snapped.

"Shut up, Eden," Tommy said.

"I need to call EJ, what's she doing about damage control? Oh my god."

"I'll talk to you tomorrow, Jude."

AN: Poor Jude. Anyways, R&R!


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star.

Chapter 8: Forgive me not

_I'm the smoke from your fire  
I'm that guy you can trust  
I'm the cord on your guitar   
I'm that girl you ca-_

"Jude!" Tommy screamed through the intercom. "Focus!"

"Tommy!" I yelled at him. "I'm doing the best I can! I have a smaller lung capacity now! Deal with it!"

"You're so frustrating! Take five!"

"Whatever!" I shouted at him, taking off the headphones and throwing them to the ground. I left the studio and walked into the lobby, where I got some coffee.

"Sorry, Jude, it's just frustrating getting used to this, you know," Tommy said from behind me.

I looked at him. "I know, but think about it. If it's hard for you then it must me harder for me."

"I know, you're right. I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

He wrapped me in a hug. "Let's get back to work." We reentered the studio and I put the headphones back on.

_  
You said you didn't need me (but you did)  
You said you didn't want me (but you do)   
It's kinda like a comedy  
Well first you kiss me  
Then you say we're through  
I say you got some issuses (yeah, you do)  
Some things you gotta work through (really do)  
It's sorta like a talk show, no wait a freak show  
When the freak is you _

I looked through the window that separated the studio from the control room. And there he was, sitting there, next to Tommy. He had always been there, that spot. Pretty much whenever I saw him, that's where he was. He was almost a fixture to that spot.__

I'm the smoke from your fire  
I'm that guy you can trust  
I'm the cord on your guitar  
I'm that girl you can't shut up 

He had always been a good friend to me. I didn't know what I was thinking saying that to him. I wanted him to be my boyfriend. It was just a reflex, a stupid reflex that I wouldn't mind losing at that moment.

_  
I'm that blood you might need  
In your car way in your speed  
In that cigarette you breath_

I wanted him to forgive me. I wanted us to be close once again, I wanted everything to be back to normal…

"Jude!" Tommy screamed again.

"Sorry!" I called. "I just-"

"Do you want to take a day off? You just got out of the hospital yesterday, I think you need at least one more day off."

"Okay, Tom, whatever you say." I left the studio for the lobby once again.

"So what was that about?" Tom asked.

"Guess."

"Kwest, right?"

"He still hasn't talked to me. I don't know what to do."

"Just talk to him." He walked off.

I looked over to the control room. I took a deep breath and marched right in there.

"Jude?" Kwest managed to squeak out before I kissed him.

I pulled away from him and sat down.

"That was pretty intense from someone who isn't my girlfriend."

"Kwest, I didn't mean what I said. I'm really sorry."

"Jude, but you still said it."

Tears started to form. "I wish you were there when I found out about the problem with my lungs. Instead of Tom and Eden, I wanted you there."

"Eden showed up?"

"Yeah, she did."

"Jude, I like you but what you said hurt me."

"I know, I shouldn't have said that and I'm stupid for it. I just wish you could forgive me."

"I'll have to think about it, Jude, I really will."

I sniffled. "I get it. Um, do you maybe want to go out for coffee tomorrow night, or something?"

He gave a small smile. "Yeah, that'd be good." He got up and left the studio.

AN: C'mon, Kwest, forgive her already. Anyways, R&R!


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star. But I would like to own Tim Rozon. Two words: Yum, yum. I also don't own the song "Everything's dust (what I know)" by Jake Epstein from Degrassi. It's featured in the episode, "Rock 'N Roll High School."

Chapter 9: I don't know if you'll forgive me

I sat there quietly, listening as the song pulsed through my head. It had been done before. It was a great song… A cover, but I wanted this to mean something. The words had meaning, and if this time spent with him didn't do anything, then the song sure would.

"You okay, Jude?" Kwest asked her, taking a drink of his coffee.

I looked around the coffee shop and then looked at him. "I'm alright…"

"You're not, I can tell. What's wrong?"

"I hate myself."

"Why?"

"For what I said."

"Jude, don't…"

"Please, listen. I hate that I was so stupid; I want you to be my boyfriend. What I said didn't mean anything, and you have to know that."

He looked down at his coffee. "Jude, stop. We aren't meant to be, it's pretty obvious by know. Tommy is obviously coming back into your life."

"He's just my producer, nothing more."

"He broke up with Eden. You want to know why? You. He wants you back, he really likes you, Jude."

"But I don't care about him like that anymore, Kwest. I care about _you_."

"Sorry, but this isn't something we're supposed to do. I just have that feeling."

"Kwest…"

"Sorry, Jude, I'm out." He got up and left the coffee shop.

"Tommy, I have a new song that I want to record," I told Tommy the next day at the studio.

"Another brain child?" He replied.

"Actually, it's a cover."

"A cover? Jude, are you serious?"

"Yes, just give it a chance, and if you hate it, we'll dispose of it. Please, Tommy?"

"Okay, let's get to work."

I positioned myself in front of the microphone and nodded to Tommy and Kwest.

I don't know if you'll forgive me

For being so blind

To how you felt

Don't ask me why I couldn't see it

That might take me years to figure out

And that's not something I know much about

But there's only one way to find out

Yeah, yeah, yeah

What I know is that I've hurt you, oh

What I know is that I suck

And what I know is that I'm sorry

What I know is that I'm a loser, yeah

What I know is I screwed up

And then I never earned your trust

And what I know is that everything I touch just turns to dust

I took off the headphones and left the studio. I took deep breaths. "Okay, calm yourself. He probably understood what you were talking about. Just calm down." I was really trying to hold back tears. I wanted him to know how I felt.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. _Please be Kwest_, I mentally prayed. I turned around and saw Tommy standing there.

He locked me in a hug. "Jude, I understand it."

"Tommy, it's not about y-" I was cut off by his lips on mine. I had felt them so many times before but I had meant it all the other times, this time meant nothing.

"Yeah, you sure like me, Jude," Kwest said, entering the lobby. He shook his head and left G Major.

I shot an angry look towards Tommy. "What the hell, Tommy?"

"What?"

"That wasn't about you! That was about Kwest! I care about him! You and I are over forever! And I'm sorry about that but I like Kwest! You ruin everything!"

"Sorry, Jude, I didn't know."

"I know you didn't. But, I think… I think I might love him."

_AN: That's a tough confession, trust me. Anyways, R&R!_


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star.

Chapter 10: Remember me forever

AN: Thanks for all the reviews. Red eyes, you were right, the guy who plays Kwest was also in the movie "seventeen again." Anyways, read on!

"You do?" Tommy asked me.

"I think I do, love him I mean," I replied.

He looked down at the floor, disappointed. "But, Jude, what about us?"

I gave a sympathetic smile. "Tommy, there is no 'us'. You were right to break up with me, we don't belong together. I think that we are much better together as friends only, you know?"

"I guess…"

"We are."

"But what if…"

"What?"

"What if I love you? What if I care for you as much as you care for Kwest? That means that we can't always get what we want!"

"Tommy! You didn't want me, and trust me you don't now. But I love Kwest, and there is no changing that. I'm sorry."

"I guess, if I love you as much as I think I do, then I would want you to be happy, even if you're not with me."

"Thank you, Tommy." I gave him a hug before exiting G Major. I dialed Kwest's number on my cell and waited for his voicemail. "Hey, Kwest, I just wanted to talk to you. There's something that I wanted to tell you, and I don't feel like telling it to you in your voicemail. So I'm just going wait for your call. Alright, bye." I walked home. I missed him; he was always so sweet to me. He had tried to warn me about when Tommy was coming to get me, he knew me.

I entered my house quietly and walked up the stairs into my room. "Kwest doesn't want me with him, he probably doesn't want me around at all." I found a duffel bag under my bed and started filling it with clothes. I left my house, without leaving any indication of where I was going (not like I knew anyways).

As I walked towards the outskirts of the city, I took out my cell phone and called Kwest again. I waited for his voicemail again. "Kwest, it's Jude again. This is the last time I'm going to call for now. I'm still not going to say what is really important. There's something else I need to say. I just want you to remember me forever, no matter what happens. I guess this is good-bye. Thank you for everything, Kwest." I hung up the phone and continued towards the outskirts of the city.

Three hours later I had made it into the next town and I was busy trying to find some place to get a little something to eat. I didn't have much money so a bag of chips from a gas station would have to do.

After I had gotten my food, I checked my voice mail messages.

"Jude," one message started, "it's me, Kwest. I sat here for hours wondering if I should call you back, wondering if what you had to say was worthwhile. But then I heard your second message and I became confused, so I knew I had to call you, I had to know what you needed to say. Jude, I will always remember you, no matter what. But I'm still confused, why are you saying good-bye? Please, if you call, I will answer. Talk to you later, Jude."

I took the phone away from my ear. I stared down at it in my hand. Should I call him? Was it too late to tell him that I love him? I was miles away from home, and I was just supposed to call him up and tell him I have feelings for him? I don't think so. But, I had to say something. I had to call I back.

And with the press of a button, I was waiting for him to answer.

"Hello?" I heard him say.

I opened my mouth to say something but I couldn't speak.

"Hello?" He said again, impatiently.

"I- I…" I stammered.

"Jude? Is that you?"

And that's when I started crying. I have no idea why I cried, but tears started to fall from my eyes. "Yes, it's me."

"I'm not sure where to start: why you said good-bye or what you needed to tell me."

"I don't know where to start either, both are just as weird to me."

"Okay, how about what you needed to tell me since you sent me that message first."

"Tommy kissed me, the feeling wasn't mutual. That song I recorded was for you and when I chewed him out for being so stupid, something came out into the open."

"What was it?"

"I told Tommy that I love you."

"Um…"

"Look, I don't expect you to say anything. 'Cause it took me a while to even realize this for myself so I don't expect anything. Let's just get to the good-bye thing."

"Jude-"

"I left town."

"You did? Where are you?"

"I'm not even sure. I've been walking for three hours straight, so I'm definitely out of town."

"But why?"

"I guess I just felt I needed to leave, maybe clear my head. I don't know."

"So that's what the good-bye was for, you running away?"

"I don't know, Kwest! I just needed to get away!"

"What direction did you go? I'm going to get you!"

"No! Let me be!"

"Ju-" I hung up. I didn't know what I was thinking, calling him. I should've known that he wouldn't feel the same. I was so stupid.

AN: Kwest didn't get to say something that he really wanted to say. I wonder what it was… hmm. Anyways, R&R!


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star.

Chapter 11: Steal me away for a minute.

"Crap…" I muttered as I looked in my wallet, realizing that I had no money left. What was I going to do? I couldn't make it on my own without any money.

I continued wandering around the small convenient store. It had been at least 5 hours since I last ate something. I needed _something_.

I grabbed a bag of Doritos and slipped them in my duffel bag. I was acting out of hunger; I wouldn't have done it if I weren't starving. But I made my way towards the exit, praying that I didn't get caught.

I was almost out the door when the guy at the counter yelled, "Hey! Come back here!"

I began to run, just letting my feet lead the way. I dug through my bag, searching for the chips. When I found them, I threw them behind me and continued running.

I'm not sure how long or how far I ran but I just went as far and long as I could. By the time I ran out of breath, I had made it into the next town.

I was beginning to get really hungry. I just wanted to eat something.

My phone rang again. It had done that several times in the past hour, I just didn't want to answer. I knew that it would just be Tommy, Georgia, or EJ asking where I was or possibly it would be Kwest trying to find me.

I finally decided to check my messages; maybe I had one from someone who really mattered at that point.

Ever single one was from Kwest. One right after the other. "Jude, it's Kwest, I really want to talk to you. Please call me." "Jude, I'm trying to find you. You can't run away. I really need to talk to you. Call back." "It's me again. I think I'm headed in your direction but I can't tell for sure. You never told me which direction you were heading. I will find you." "Jude, I really want you to call me. I'm not going to stop calling you until you talk to me. You can count on that."

But the last one was what had brought her to her senses. "Jude, it's Kwest. I know, I've left you a million messages but this one is very important. You have to listen to me. Running away is not the answer. I care about you, Jude. What I wanted to say earlier was that I love you too. I want to find you; I want everything to be okay between us. I want us to date. Please give me a call."

I took the phone away from my ear and looked at it like it was a foreign object. Did he say what I thought he said? I must've been hearing things. He must've said that he wanted to _hug_ me when he found me. Yeah, that was it.

I didn't know whether I should call him back or not. What would I say? I already told him that I loved him; I didn't know what else I would say.

My fingers, which seemed to lose contact with my brain, started pressing the numbers, one right after another. I could see them typing in Kwest's number and for some reason, I couldn't stop them. Did I want to call him? I didn't even know what my heart said anymore.

I put the phone to my ear and took it down a second later when I saw a black Volkswagen Jetta pull up in front of me. I looked in the window and saw Kwest. He rolled down the window and said, "Get in."

I hesitated. Did I want to go home? My stomach grumbled, making my decision for me. I climbed in and he drove off.

"I got your messages just now…" I told him, hoping to start a conversation.

"I figured that you weren't answering," he replied.

"I wasn't."

"Look, I'd really appreciate if you said something that way I didn't feel so stupid."

"You already know how I feel Kwest. Did _you_ say anything to make me feel less stupid at the time? No."

"I was trying to tell you that on the phone earlier but you hung up. I love you."

"I love you too," I mumbled breathlessly.

He leaned in and kissed me. I felt powerful and meaningful, better than any kissed I had shared with Tommy. Being with Kwest and kissing him just felt so unbelievably right, like it was where I was supposed to be for the rest of my life.

"We should get back home," he said after we broke away.

"No, wait," I insisted. "Let's do this together; let's run off."

_AN: Ha! I'm evil! I leave cliffhangers! Anyways, please review and I want you to be the most honest as you have ever been in your whole entire life. I only grow from the mistakes I make._


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star or the song Come Away With Me by Norah Jones.

Chapter 12: Come away with me

"What are you talking about, Jude?" Kwest said as he made his way back to our town.

"I'm talking about us running off together," I explained.

"We can't just run away, we have responsibilities."

"But can't we escape for at least a few days? Just the two of us."

"I don't know, Jude…"

I looked up to him with wide eyes. "Please? There's been a lot of stuff going on at home and I just want to get away. I want you to come with me."

He paused for a moment and smiled. "Okay, where should we go?"

"Are you for real?"

He sighed. "You beg me to go away with you and then you give me a hard time when I say I'll go? Jeez."

"Sorry, but you'll go?" I smiled at him.

"Just tell me where."

"Anywhere, everywhere."

"Alright." He drove off. I had no idea where we were going, or what we were going to do when we got there. All I know is that we were going.

It had been silent for the past half hour. I've never really liked the silent. I turned on the radio.

_Come away with me in the night  
Come away with me  
And I will write you a song_

Come away with me on a bus  
Come away with me where they can't tempt us  
With their lies

I want to walk with you  
On a cloudy day  
In fields where the yellow grass grows  
knee kigh  
So won't you try to come

Come away with me and we'll kiss  
On a mountain top  
Come away with me  
And I'll never stop loving you

And I want to wake up with the rain  
Falling on a tin roof  
While I'm safe there in your arms  
So all I ask is for you  
To come away with me in the night  
Come away with me

"Jude…" Kwest whispered as he shook me gently awake. "You fell asleep."

I looked out the window sleepily. I didn't recognize any of my surroundings. "Where are we?"

"Anywhere and everywhere," he replied.

I let out a small laugh.

"It's about nine right now, so I was going to find some place for us to stay for the night. That cool?"

"Yeah, that works."

He pulled up to a small inn. "I'm going to check in."

"Alright."

He kissed my cheek and got out of the car.

I don't know why but it felt so perfect just being away with Kwest. Just the two of us together. Unfortunately, I had the strange feeling that we wouldn't be along together for that long.

I just tried to put in from my mind. I wanted to focus on the now. And now I was with Kwest, somewhere far from home.

He came from the front office and said, "C'mon, let's go."

_AN: Interesting. Anyways, R&R!_


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star.

Chapter 13: Check-ins and check-outs

When I woke up the next morning, the spot next to me in bed was empty. I sat up and looked around for him. "Kwest? Hello?" I stood up and started wandering around the room.

"Don't worry about it man…" I heard him say from the bathroom. I was guessing he was either on the phone or he'd begun talking to himself. "No, she's safe. God, why do you care? You dumped her. She's here and she's fine. I should go before she wakes up. Hey, would you mind not telling her about this. Okay thanks. Bye."

I ran back over to the bed and dove back under the covers. I heard the bathroom door open and I felt him lie down next to me. I opened my eyes and saw him staring at me. "Hey," I murmured.

"You're awake…" He replied. He brushed my hair out of my face. "Enjoying our little hooky holiday?"

"Yeah, it's been fun."

"But we'll have to go back sometime."

"Well, yeah, but we can just hang around for a little while, can't we?"

"I think that we should go back sooner than later though, so you can get back to work."

"I know. Can we make a deal?"

"Like what?"

"We can stay at least one more night and then if you want to go home, we will. Please?"

"Okay, one more day. Then if I say we leave, we leave."

"Alright."

She kissed him softly. He tried to pull away but she sucked him into another kiss, wanting more.

"Jude, cool it," he said after I pulled away.

"Kwest, I'm 18, I'm old enough to do this."

"Are you sure?" He seemed nervous; I didn't know if it was because I was me or just because he wanted to wait for a later time in our relationship.

"I know what I'm doing, Kwest. I've done this before." I paused. Did I really just tell him that? After everything, does he really need to know that I had sex with Tommy? I think not.

"What did you just say?" He sat up.

"Nothing, never mind."

"That wasn't nothing. You said something about doing this before. With who?"

"No one, it's not a big deal."

"Actually it is. Who?"

"Well, it's not like you've told me about who you've slept with."

"You don't know any of them."

"Okay whatever…"

"Aren't you going to tell me?"

"It's no one you know."

"C'mon, Jude, I'm not stupid."

"Fine, I slept with…" I mumbled Tommy's name under my breath so he couldn't understand me.

"Who?"

"Tommy," I repeated louder.

"You're not serious."

"I am unfortunately."

"When? Why?"

"Just a little while before he broke up with me. He's 25 for God's sake, he just wanted more."

"Just because he wanted something doesn't mean you had to give it to him. He should be happy to be with you."

"Look, I seriously didn't want you to find out like this."

"I'd say not."

"Speaking of Tommy, how's he doing?"

"What?"

"I know you talked to him this morning, why?"

"He called. He was totally freaked about you missing and so I had to tell him that you were with me."

I stood up. "This trip is just not going as planned. We should just go home."

_AN: Wow, interesting things happening. Also, sorry that I took so long to update but my keyboard was screwed. Anyways, please R&R!_


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star or "Unwanted" by Avril Lavigne.

Chapter 14: Take me home

I stared out the window, upset and not wanting to talk to Kwest. I watched as we passed so many things.

"Jude," Kwest spoke for the first time, "look…"

"I don't want to talk right now," I replied simply.

"We're almost in town…"

"Good, then you can take me home."

"No, I can take you to G Major."

"No, I want to go home."

"They need you at the studio."

"That's too damn bad because I want to go home."

"Sorry, I can't let you do that." He stopped at a red light.

"Fine then." I opened the car door and ran for it.

"Jude!"

She kept running. At this point she just wanted to go home: no more road trip, no more running off. I just wanted to be home.

"I'm home!" I called as I entered my house. "Hello?" I didn't have much time to figure out if anyone was home since the doorbell rang. I opened the door and was pulled out of my house by Kwest. "Let me go!" I demanded.

He shoved me into his car before driving off. "I need you at G Major. If I don't bring you back, then Tommy's going to kill me."

"So that's what this whole thing's been about? You didn't come to get me because you love me; you came to get me because you _needed_ me to be at the studio. Well, that brings up a few questions about last night but whatever." I glared out the window. I was so tired of him.

He stopped at G Major. "We're here."

"I hadn't noticed," I snapped, getting out of the car and slamming the door.

"Jude," Tommy said as I entered the building. "I'm so glad you're safe."

"Whatever." I brushed past him but he grabbed my hand softly and spun me to face him like he had done while we were dating. "What?"

He looked down at me softly. "I mean it."

I looked away from him. Those eyes, those intense eyes burning a hole into me. "Whatever." I walked into the studio and waited for Tommy and Kwest to give me the okay.

"Go ahead, Jude," Tommy announced.

I strummed the first chord.

_All that I did was walk over  
Start off by shaking your hands  
That's how it went  
I had a smile on my face and I sat up straight  
Oh, yeah, yeah  
I wanted to know you  
I wanted to show you_

_  
You don't know me  
Don't ignore me  
You don't want me there  
You just shut me out  
You don't know me  
Don't ignore me  
If you had your way  
You'd just shut me up  
Make me go away  
_

_No, I just don't understand why  
you won't talk to me  
It's hurts that I'm so unwanted for nothing  
Don't talk words against me  
I wanted to know you  
I wanted to show you_

_You don't know me  
Don't ignore me  
You don't want me there  
You just shut me out  
You don't know me  
Don't ignore me  
If you had your way  
You'd just shut me up  
Make me go away  
_

_Make me go away_

_I tried to belong  
It didn't seem wrong  
My head aches  
Its been so long  
I'll write this song  
If that's what it take_

_You don't know me  
Don't ignore me  
You don't want me there  
You just shut me out  
You don't know me  
Don't ignore me  
If you had your way  
You'd just shut me up  
Make me go away  
_

_You don't know me  
Don't ignore me  
You don't want me there  
You just shut me out  
You don't know me  
Don't ignore me  
If you had your way  
You'd just shut me up  
Make me go away_

Make me go away  
Make me go away

I threw off my headphones, dropped my guitar, and ran out of the studio.

"Jude!" Kwest called, leaving the control room and interfering with my escape.

"Out of my way, Kwest," I snapped, moving to go past him.

He stepped in front of me. "No, Jude, listen to me."

I tried to step past him again but he stepped in front of me. We did this over and over; the moves slowly transforming into a waltz. Once his hand had grabbed mine, my hand had rested on his shoulder, and his other hand had held my waist, I realized this was insane.

"Stop!" I screamed, backing away from him. "Leave me alone!" I ran out of his way and out of G Major.

AN: A slip of the tongue and you end up in a fight. Now I know why I stay out of relationships… Sorry, I can be really bitter at times. Please R&R!


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star.

Chapter 15: You're here?

I stared up at the ceiling of my bedroom as I laid on my bed. Why was Kwest acting like this? I understand that he has to try to keep our relationship professional as well as personal but what the hell was up with him? I run away and then when he finds me, he agrees to go away with me as a personal thing. And then on the way back home it turns into a work thing. What's with that?

The phone on my bedside stand rang for the fifth time in the last half hour. "Speak," I muttered into the receiver.

"Jude, listen…" Kwest started.

I hung up the phone and continued to stare at the ceiling. Four of the five calls that past half hour had been him. The fifth had been some solicitor selling who knows what… But Kwest just kept at it, hoping that I'd talk to him.

The phone rang again. I picked it up and instead of saying hello, I just said bluntly, "Eat shit," before hanging up. I knew it had to be Kwest, no one else would bother to bug me when I was upset.

I still didn't get what was with him… Why didn't he just leave me alone?

I guess I must've fallen asleep. The next thing I knew I woke up to Tommy hovering over me. "Holy!" I shouted, sitting up.

"Scared you?" He asked smugly.

"No," I replied, settling back into my skin.

"Right…"

"Why are you here?"

"I just thought you could use a friend."

"Well, you're right… Wait a second!" I stood up and backed away from him. "You caused this!"

"How did I cause this? It's not my fault that you were pissed at Kwest because he was doing his job."

"He was doing his job while trying to keep a nonprofessional relationship with me!" I stopped, realizing how unreasonable I was being. I dropped to the floor and rested my head in my hands. "How could I be so stupid?"

Tommy walked over to me, kneeled down, and locked me in a hug. "It'll be okay." He kept me in his arms as he let out a laugh. "Funny how this works out."

"What?" I mumbled into his shoulder.

"Kwest's the one in the fight with you and I'm here trying to make you feel better."

I gave a laugh too. "It's either invasion of the body switchers or the apocalypse; I can't decide which."

He ran his fingers through my hair as his warm breath blew against my ear. "Don't worry about him. He'll get over it. He'd be a moron not to take you back."

I just sat and listened as he told me this.

"I know this now and it's too late. I just hope he doesn't make the same mistake."

"Why'd you break up with Eden?" I asked him.

"I realized she wasn't for me and you were."

"What did you think would happen? Did you think I would leave Kwest for you? Sorry, Tom, that wouldn't have happened…" My voice wasn't angry, I was trying to be as sweet as I could to him.

"I know…" He whispered in my ear.

I wasn't totally sure what happened next since my back was turned to the door but Tommy looked up and backed away from me before saying, "Dude, Kwest, this is not what it looks like."

I turned around to see Kwest leaving my room. "Kwest!" I shouted to him, getting up and following him out of my house. "Please listen to me!"

He stopped and turned to me. "When were you going to tell me that you were going to get back together with Tommy?"

"I'm not! He was just trying to comfort me!"

"Right! Like he'd 'comfort' you before? And you know what I mean."

"But we're just friends!"

"I say again, right." He turned around and started to walk off.

The screech of car brakes and a large thud made me let out a scream.

_AN: Uh oh… What happened? I know and all of you will soon. Please R&R!_


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star.

Chapter 16: Backwards Déjà vu

I paced around the hospital waiting room, waiting for the doctors. Why had I acted like such a fool? Why had I acted like this? I just felt so responsible.

"Ms. Harrison, Mr. Quincy," the doctor said, entering the room. "Your friend will be okay. He has a few broken ribs and he's unconscious but besides that he's as good as new."

"Thank you," Tommy said. He stood up and looked down to me. "You coming?"

I shook my head. "Not right away."

"Okay…" He left the waiting room.

I sat there for an hour or so but I'm not quite sure how long it was. Eventually, Tommy came back out.

"What the hell, Jude?" He shouted at me.

"What?" I snapped back.

"I've been in there for an hour and he doesn't even want to talk to me. I'm not sure but I think he'd much rather talk to you."

"I just can't, Tommy. He probably hates me."

"Jesus, Jude, stop being a damn coward."

"I'm not."

"Yeah, you are. Get off your lazy ass and get in there."

"Fine, but I'm guessing that he doesn't want even want to talk to me."

"I'm guessing you're wrong."

"Whatever." I turned around and slowly crept into the room.

"I swear, Tommy, if that's you I'll strangle you," he said, not looking at the door.

"Not Tommy," I whispered.

He looked over to me. "Oh, Jude… Hey."

"If you don't want to talk to me, I understand."

"No, it's fine. It's not like you stabbed me in the back."

"Tommy didn't stab you in the back," I defended, coming farther into the room. "And remember, it would take two people to do anything."

"Whatever…"

"He wasn't making a move on me, you know that, right?"

"So he says…"

"He was just trying to comfort me after our fight."

"Again, I say, he was trying to comfort the way he used to."

"I don't think he was trying to get into my pants."

"I think he was. Didn't you feel his hand on your back?"

"So?"

"Lower back, right?"

"Yeah…"

"Hand on the lower back says that he's just trying to grab some ass."

"Oh my god…"

"Just something I saw on T.V. He just doesn't know when to give up."

"Why are we fighting? We should be mad at him."

"I know…"

I sat down at the edge of his bed. "I know too."

He smiled. "I know you know." He placed his hand on my cheek and kissed me passionately.

AN: Sorry it took so long to update but since my keyboard's still screwed up and I have to use my mom's which I can only use every so often. Anyways, please R&R!


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star.

Chapter 17: Lies, all lies.

"Hey, Jude," Tommy said entering Studio A.

"What do you want?" I snapped at him.

"Whoa, easy girl, what's with you?" He asked sitting next to me.

"You're a manipulator. You tricked me and if Kwest hadn't come along, I don't know what you would've done."

"I wouldn't have done anything to you."

"That's bullshit."

"I might've kissed you."

"I say again bullshit. I don't believe you."

"Jude, you know I care about you. I wouldn't do anything to hurt you." He draped his arm around her.

She rolled her shoulder, knocking his arm off. "I wouldn't do that if I were you…"

"And why not?" He asked, wrapping his arm around her shoulders again.

"Because Kwest might not like it." She moved her shoulder again, removing his arm from her shoulder once more.

"Since when do I care what Kwest wants?" He rested his arm on her shoulder for the final time.

"Since Kwest and I-" I stopped when Kwest came in the room.

Kwest stared down Tommy. "Tom, want to explain to me why you have your arm around Jude?"

"Why do you care? You guys broke up."

"Oh but that's where you're very wrong. Now get away from her."

"Oh poor Kwest, pretending that you and Jude are still together to make you feel better."

"He's not pretending," I interrupted. "What I was trying to tell you was that Kwest and I got back together. But it's not like I need to tell you anything."

"As your producer you need to fill me in on somethings."

"None that have to do with my love life."

"She's right," Kwest agreed.

"Stay out of this, Kwest, this has nothing to do with you," Tommy shot at him.

"Of course it has to do with him, it's all about him," I yelled back.

"You don't have to explain anything to him," Kwest answered, trying to calm me down.

"You're right…" I stood up and headed towards the door with Kwest.

"You know I'll win, Kwest," Tom shouted at him. "In the end, I'll win."

He glanced back to Tom. "That's where you're wrong, Tommy," he replied. "She's not a trophy for you to win; therefore neither one of us will win." He turned back around and we walked out of Studio A.

"Kwest, that was awesome," I said to him.

"Well, I try," he replied, smugly.

"And it worked." I leaned in and kissed him gently. As I pulled away, I tasted blood in my mouth. I touched a finger to my lips, covering them in a deep red substance. "Kwest?" I asked looking up at him.

And there it was, blood slowly coming from the corner of his mouth. "I…" He mumbled with a mouthful of blood. His eyes fluttered shut and his body dropped to the floor.

"Kwest!" I screamed, kneeling next to him.

Tommy came from inside the studio and said, "What happened?"

"Get away and call a damn ambulance!" I screamed at him. "Please Kwest, pull through," I whispered to him.

AN: Oh, I wonder what happened… I know that this was a short chapter but I just want to have the effect of a cliffhanger, everyone knows how much I love those. Anyways, R&R! P.S. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, and Happy Kwanzaa!


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star or "Tomorrow" by Avril Lavigne.

Chapter 18: Bleed

"What's going on?" I shouted at the doctor as he came from the room.

"There is some internal bleeding from the accident. How we didn't see it before, I don't know," the doctor explained.

"Is he going to be okay?"

"He's going to have to stay here for a while. We're going to have to run a few tests on him but he seems okay."

"When can I see him?"

"I'm sorry but I can't let you in to see him today."

"Why not?"

"He needs to rest, he's just not physically stable enough to see anyone right now."

"But I'm his friend."

"I'm sorry but there's no way that you can see him today."

"Thanks…" I muttered. I just didn't understand why I couldn't see him.

I came back the next day but it was the same thing. "I'm sorry but you can't see him," the doctor told me.

"I thought you said that I couldn't see him yesterday. I thought I could see him today."

"Well, his recovery isn't going very well and we don't want anyone seeing him."

"What's going so wrong in his recovery?"

"We may have to do surgery."

"Great."

"Come back tomorrow, you may be able to see him."

"Right." I turned on the ball of my foot and stormed out of there.

As I entered G Major I just wanted to kill anything I could get my hands on.

"What's with you?" Tommy asked me.

"Like you care!" I snapped at him.

"You're my friend, of course I care."

"The hospital just doesn't want me seeing Kwest."

"Why?"

"Apparently, his recovery isn't going so well."

"That seems like bull."

"Yeah, well."

"So what are you going to do?"

"What can I do?"

"Write a song about it."

I got to work on the song as soon as possible.

_And I wanna believe you,  
When you tell me that it'll be ok,  
Ya I try to believe you,  
But I don't_

_When you say that it's gonna be,  
It always turns out to be a different way,  
I try to believe you,  
Not today, today, today, today, today..._

_Chorus:_

_I don't know how I'll feel,  
tomorrow, tomorrow,  
I don't know what to say,  
tomorrow, tomorrow  
Is a different day_

It's always been up to you,  
It's turning around,  
It's up to me,  
I'm gonna do what I have to do,  
just don't

_Gimme a little time,  
Leave me alone a little while,  
Maybe it's not too late,  
not today, today, today, today, today..._

_Chorus:_

_I don't know how I'll feel,  
tomorrow, tomorrow,  
I don't know what to say,  
tomorrow, tomorrow  
Is a different day_

_Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, and I know I'm not ready,  
Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, maybe tomorrow_

_Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, and I know I'm not ready,  
Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, maybe tomorrow_

_And I wanna believe you,  
When you tell me that it'll be ok,  
Yeah I try to believe you,  
Not today, today, today, today, today..._

_Tomorrow it might change_

_Tomorrow it might change_

_Tomorrow it might change_

_Tomorrow it might change_

Tommy got the song recorded as soon as he could.

I went back to the hospital the next day.

"I can't let you see him," the doctor said.

"Why?"

"He's getting worse."

"Then you should let me see him."

"I can't let you."

"What is going on with him? If he's sick enough for you not to let me see him, then there must be something wrong."

"We're not sure about it yet…"

"How can you not be so sure?"

"We're still running tests. It could be nothing, just an effect of the accident, or it could be more serious."

"Great."

"We might have some more information tomorrow."

"Yeah, it's always tomorrow."

AN: Poor Kwest. Anyways, R&R!


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star.

Chapter 19: Into the forbidden zone

"I have no information for you," the doctor told me the next day.

"I've come back day after day hoping for information or to be able to see them and it's always, 'come back tomorrow.' Am I ever going to know what the hell is going on?" I snapped at him.

"We are close to figuring it out we just need a few more days."

"Can I at least see him?"

"I'm sorry but we can't let you."

"Why not?"

"We just can't."

"Hasn't he wondered why I haven't visited him?"

"He hears you in here everyday. He wants to see you."

"Then why can't I see him?"

"There's nothing I can do."

"That is absolute crap."

"It's just policy, Ms. Harrison." He walked away leaving me alone.

I looked around the lobby. There was no one at the nurses' station. I looked to my left and then to my right. There was no hospital staff around what-so-ever.

I took my chance and ran for it. I ran down the hall and into his room.

He was lying there fast asleep. He looked so peaceful when he was sleeping. It was so weird knowing that he could be terminally ill. I was close to crying.

I sat down on the edge of his bed. I watched him wake up.

"Hey…" He muttered, sleepily. Or it could've been that he was so sick. But he didn't seem to be. "About time you came to visit me."

"They didn't want me to come in. I've been coming here for days trying to see you but they wouldn't let me."

"They've been running tests day in and day out. I don't get it, this was just a side effect of the accident."

"They didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

I felt panicked. He didn't know and I just practically told him. I had no choice but to let him know. "They said that it might be something worse."

"Great…"

"But they're going to figure out what it is and hopefully they'll be able to help you."

"No wonder no one's been in to see me."

"At least I know that it's not just me."

"If they won't let anyone in, how'd you get here?"

"I kind of snuck in."

"Are you going to get in trouble?"

And at that moment, the security came into the room.

"Oh, bloody hell…" I mumbled.

"I take that as a yes," Kwest replied.

"Come with us, Miss Harrison," one security guard said.

I shot Kwest a half-smile before the security guards grabbed me by the arms and walked me out. They led me down the hall and into the doctor's office.

"I told you not to see him," the doctor told me.

"I know but I just had to see him," I explained.

"All that aside, I have good news."

"I swear if you say that you just saved money on your car insurance by switching to Geico, I will scream."

"I just results of the last test back. We finally know what wrong with him."

AN: Uh oh… Okay, so I haven't decided what is wrong with him exactly. If you have any ideas, let me know. I'm staying away from the Cancer idea. I'm busy looking at a website of diseases, so if no one comes up with any idea I'll figure something out soon. Anyways, please R&R!


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star.

Chapter 20: Tell it to me straight.

"You know what's wrong with him?" I asked.

"Yes, we do," the doctor replied. "And it actually has nothing to do with the car accident."

"It doesn't?" I repeated.

"Not at all."

"Then what is it?"

"He has Leukemia." (AN: So I know I said I would try to stay away from the Cancer idea but I had no other ideas.) "We didn't catch it before because we were looking for something that had to do with the accident."

"Leukemia?" I breathed.

"Yes."

"Can you help him?"

He paused. "We're hoping we caught it in time. We'll start him on Chemo as soon as we can. We hope that it will help." When he saw the relief on my face he added, "But even with Chemo, there's no certainty that it will help him."

I was holding back tears. "Can I actually see him now?"

"Yes. We haven't told him yet and we think it might be better if he hears it from a friend or family."

"Oh, right. Okay…" She left the office and walked back down the hall to Kwest's room. "Hey…"

"Hey," he mumbled, weakly.

I sat next to him on his bed.

"What's going on? You don't look happy."

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm fine really."

"Okay, whatever you say."

"It's you that's the problem."

He looked at me like I had grown a second head. "What? I feel fine. They should be letting me out any day now."

"They finally figured out what's wrong with you," I blurted.

He tried to remain calm but I knew what must've been racing through his mind.

"You have Leukemia."

"Am I going to die?" He asked calmly.

"They hope they caught it in time. You'll start Chemotherapy soon."

"Geez…"

"Are you okay?"

"I just found out I'm terminally ill! Do you think that I'm alright?"

"You seem angry…"

"Damn right I'm angry! I don't want to talk about this! Get out, Jude!"

"Kwest, ju-"

"Get out, Jude!"

I ran out of the room in tears and slammed the door behind me.

"Damn it…" I muttered to myself.

AN: Poor Kwest! I'm not sure what's going to happen yet but I'll come up with something. Also, if you know a song that might fit for how Kwest or Jude might be feeling at this point, let me know. Just give the name of the song and the artist. Anyways, please R&R!


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star or the song "Untitled" by Simple Plan.

Chapter 21: Write about it.

Tommy knocked on the door of the control room. "What's with you?" He asked her.

She glared up to him. "Kwest is mad at me."

He sat down in a chair next to her. "What happened this time?"

"You make it sound like we break up and make-up all the time."

"Jude, these last few months haven't been that easy."

"You're getting off topic."

"Okay, sorry. So what happened?"

"The doctors finally know what's wrong with him."

"And?"

Jude paused. "He has cancer. Leukemia to be exact."

Tommy seemed really solemn. "Wow… I'm sorry."

"He didn't take the news so well."

"_You _had to tell him?"

"The doctor said it's easier on them if they hear it from someone they love. Obviously not."

"He doesn't even want to talk to you?"

"Nope."

"Then let him hear what you have to say."

"How?"

"Write a song about it."

I open my eyes 

**I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light**

**I can't remember how**

**I can't remember why**

**I'm lying here tonight**

**And I can't stand the pain**

**And I can't make it go away**

**No I can't stand the pain**

**How could this happen to me**

**I made my mistakes**

**I've got no where to run**

**The night goes on**

**As I'm fading away**

**I'm sick of this life**

**I just wanna scream**

**How could this happen to me**

**Everybody's screaming**

**I try to make a sound but no one hears me**

**I'm slipping off the edge**

**I'm hanging by a thread**

**I wanna start this over again**

**So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered**

**And I can't explain what happened**

**And I can't erase the things that I've done**

**No I can't**

**How could this happen to me**

**I made my mistakes**

**I've got no where to run**

**The night goes on**

**As I'm fading away**

**I'm sick of this life**

**I just wanna scream**

**How could this happen to me**

**I made my mistakes**

**I've got no where to run**

**The night goes on**

**As I'm fading away**

**I'm sick of this life**

**I just wanna scream**

**How could this happen to me**

Tommy shut off the control panel and nodded in approval. "Sounds good, Jude," he said. "It expresses how you're feeling right now."

"That's what I was going for," Jude replied.

"Alright so I'll get this on the radio by tomorrow, okay?"

"Sounds good to me."

As promised, the next day, Jude's new song played on the radio. And as soon as it finished, Jude's cell rang. "Hello?" She answered.

"Hey, Jude," Kwest's voice said over the phone.

AN: Thanks to everyone for their suggestions! I'm running out of ideas so please help otherwise I may just end this fic sometime soon. Anyways, please R&R!


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: Not mine!

Chapter 22: I want to tell you

AN: Well, this has been a great fic and I love all of the reviews I've been getting but I think that this chapter is going to be the best place to end this story. Anyways, please enjoy!

"Kwest…" Jude repeated, clutching the phone close to her ear. "I didn't think you would call."

"I heard your new song," he replied.

"Really?"

"Yeah, it was good, Jude."

"Thanks. Do you think you'll be okay?"

"I'm not sure, Jude. They are still doing tests."

"I wish I could be there with you."

"I want you here."

"I thought you didn't."

"I was overreacting."

"So you want me to come there?"

"Yes, as soon as possible."

Jude arrived at the hospital as soon as she could.

Kwest was sitting up in his hospital bed. He seemed a little depressed.

"Hey, Kwest," she said.

"Hey," he replied.

She sat on the edge of his bed. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing…"

"Kwest, you can't pretend like there is nothing wrong? What is going on?"

He sighed. "I got the test results."

Panic struck Jude in that second. "Is it bad?"

"Well…"

"It's bad. I knew it. I can't believe it."

"Jude."

"What?"

"Calm down."

"Calm down? How can you tell me to calm down?"

"Jude."

"What?"

"I'm okay."

Her heart stopped for a split second. "What?"

"I'm okay. The doctors said that with Chemo I should be all better in no time."

She let out a squeal as she hugged him. "I can't believe it. You're going to be fine!"

"I know, I'm happy too."

Jude let out a happy sigh as she nestled into his arms.

"Jude, there is something I want to tell you."

She looked up at him. "What do you want to say?"

"I love you, Jude Harrison. I always have, and I always will."

She gave him a kiss. "I love you too, Kwest."

AN: Oh, how sweet. Well, thanks to all of you who have been reviewing. Anyways, please R&R!


End file.
